Even though
I’m a Chinese, and my ancestors were from China, cultural differences exist despite
our roots. Place plays a very big role in our practices and beliefs and it is
inevitable that we might perform actions that contradicts with the others.
After my A’
Levels, I went for a holiday with a group of friends to China. As one of them is
from China himself, his father had kindly volunteered to be our tour guide for
the trip and drive us around.
I remember
the very first time we were having a meal together with my friend’s father and
his friends at a restaurant. The waiter came and they called for wine to be
served. When the waiter was about to pour the wine into my cup, I turned to
him, shook my head and rejected politely. Disturbed by my actions, my friend’s
father instructed the waiter to continue pouring and said, “It’s alright, just
drink a little.” Being in a foreign country, I decided to comply and felt a
little apologetic as it seems I had disrespected his father.
I
understand from my friend that drinking during every meal is the culture in
China, especially in cold weathers, and it will be a form of disrespect if you
were to reject.
Trying to
be more cautious this time round, I followed their lead and drank the whole cup
of wine down at one go. Upon seeing that my cup is empty, he held up the wine
bottle and poured the wine into my cup. As I was afraid that I might be
disrespectful once again, I gulped down the next cup as well. Whenever my wine
cup is emptied, he would start refilling my cup again, and I would
finish it off yet again.
It was until
the 6th or 7th cup that I realized that in their tradition, it is
impolite to have your guest’s cup left emptied. From that meal on, I sipped my
wine and made sure that I do not empty my wine cup again!
Boy, you
should have seen how red my face was that day! Partly embarrassed, partly drunk.
Hi Shi Ying,
ReplyDeleteI was surprised to hear this experience. I thought the Chinese custom is not to pour wine for the ladies. A huge misunderstanding of mine :)
Actually when one goes far form his country for a long time, he may forget some of the traditional customs. You grew up in Singapore, adapted to Singapore culture, it's normal that you have some misunderstandings about Chinese's customs. Even I grew up in Vietnam, when I go to another Vietnamese region outside my hometown, I sometimes feel a little bit hard to comply their customs.
I find yours a fantastic experience. I am pretty sure that everything was ok at all, right? Imagining our poor Shi Ying with the red checks :)))))
Haha
ReplyDeleteThanks Thao. I guess the customs in China now is also more or less modernised, thus it is alright for people to pour wine for ladies. Alcohol beverages have always been a good social lubricant and helps to keep one warm in a cold weather. So I guess it is reasonable that females are allowed to drink. XD
Furthermore, Singapore is a really tiny multi-racial country where locals are MOSTLY tolerant of one another and I never had difficulties in communicating,
unlike in big countries where cultures are different in different states/provinces. It would be nice to try out though.
XDDD
Hi Shiying,
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I had no idea of this tradition too until you mentioned it now. With the high alcohol content in Chinese wine, you must have been burning inside after consuming that many cups.
Strangely enough, I had a similar experience when I was in Korea with some friends two years back. We were hosted by a group of Korea University students and they brought us to dine in a sub-contemporary Korean bar. The food was great and I was amazed at their generosity to refill our cups with soju. It was only later in the evening when I realised they follow a tradition similar to what you have observed in China. No regrets though, the soju was superb!
If I remembered my history correctly, I think women were allowed to drink wine even in the past. The only restriction was that they couldn't do it socially outside but they would only consumed alcohol in their homes. It's an interesting observation pointed out by Thao though. I wonder what it is like in Vietnam...
Hello Ronald,
DeleteHmm..I'm not very sure if there is any drastic difference in women being allowed to drink socially outside. But from the Korean dramas shown on the television, it is probably fine? Though i must admit these dramas are srt of the relatively more modern ones.
I know of a culture in Hokkaido though, that the host MUST be the one pouring the wine for the guest and the guest must NEVER be pouring his own wine. Else it would be deemed that the host is doing a very bad job as a host. However, i always find it very taxing for the host to do so. Not only must they entertain, help to cook the food for the guests, they must ensure that their guests wine cup is filled. We sure are lucky that there is no such tradition in our country!
Shiying
Hi Shiying,
ReplyDeleteAs you said, Alcohol beverages have always been a good social lubricant in China for it will less the tension between strangers sitting together, but from my point of view I still can't bear the situation that once I drink the whole cup of wine down at one go they will immediately refill our cups again and again...
Actually, it is a must for a good guest to drink wine offered by host at one go in China, I think you did it very well. It shows the highest appreciation for the hospitality. Maybe you drink it too fast so that they think you like the taste of the wine and wanna offer you more:)
It's a quite funny experience by the way
Haha hi Ding Ding,
DeleteI thought you would have seen such experience before, afterall people from China are so good at being hosts! Haha, thank you for your compliment. Luckily for China's case, it is regarded as a form of respect to drink the wine down at one go. Imagine this action is actually a form of disrespect! I would be facing gloomy faces and be kicked out of the restaurant very soon.
Hi ShiYing,
ReplyDeleteI would like to visit China one day and challenge the host in drinking. Anyhow, I have enjoyed your post and it is funny at the same time, imagining your reaction after the 7th cup. Well, I have seen similar culture in Myanmar where it is impolite to have an empty cup or an empty plate for the guests. There must be something on the plate or in the cup.
In this world, there is so many different cultures and the only way to learn them is to travel and have an experience of it. I really really think you drank more than 7 cups. Who knows.
Min Thu
Haha, challenge!
DeleteBut you should be prepared to lose! The people there are GREAT drinkers. They drink everyday as compared to us, unless you go clubbing everytime or have a secret habit of drinking.
And whats with the 'you really really think i drank more than 7 cups' haha!
Thanks for reading though! XD
Shiying
Thanks for sharing your red-faced experience, ShiYing. You describe a custom that seems to be prevalent in most of the countries of Asia -- China, Korea, Japan, Mongolia, Myanmar -- where there are no overt prohibitions against drinking. I've always wondered why drinking booze in Singapore seems to be so infrequent in comparison. Do you have any idea?
ReplyDeleteYou've got a few verb tense problems in this post; other than those minor distractions, it's an enjoyable read.
Hi Shiying!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy your writing. You express your self in such a good way and I find the story interesting. I actually didn't know about that part of the culture. Good that I know it know since I'm traveling Southeast Asia and don't want to end up drunk and red.
Anyways, I can tell you when you come to Europe what are is acceptable and what is not.
Sumea